I Accidentally Had a Great Day

Guys.

I did NOT go grocery shopping today.

That was the plan.

That was THE mission.

I was supposed to make my grocery list, put on real clothes, drive to Lincoln, fight for my life in Costco, Sam’s Club, and Aldi, and return home with enough food to feed my family of five and whatever bottomless pit has possessed my children.

Instead?

I went rogue.

I went to the library.

Now, before anyone gets too excited, I only left with one book.

But it is a trashy romance novel….and lemme say that ONE PAGE I happened to sample was spicy enough the book came home with me!!!!

After my literary adventure, I wandered through Goodwill because apparently that’s what middle age looks like.

Not clubs.

Not vacations.

Not luxury shopping.

Just wandering Goodwill looking at random kitchen gadgets and asking yourself if you need a ceramic goose wearing a bonnet and rain boots

The answer is always no.

The temptation is always yes.

Then I made a catastrophic life choice.

McDonald’s for supper.

My brain was thrilled!

My taste buds were delighted!

My gastric sleeve stomach, however, immediately called an emergency board meeting and voted unanimously to shut the entire operation down.

For those who have had weight loss surgery, you know exactly what I’m talking about!

There is a magical period of about fifteen minutes where you’re convinced everything is fine.

Then suddenly your stomach says:

“Oh no, sweetheart. We don’t do this anymore!”

I have spent the remainder of the day paying for my crimes. (I hate throwing up AND McDonald’s now!)

So now I am laying in my bed with a heating pad on my back and an electro-massage thing attached to my right leg, looking like a low-budget science experiment.

Honestly, if you walked into my room right now, you’d probably assume I was charging.

My evening plans consist of rewatching Degrassi because apparently I enjoy watching fictional teenagers make terrible decisions while actively avoiding my own responsibilities.

The soundtrack of my house is absolute chaos.

The dog and cat are engaged in what can only be described as a slap and bite each other’s face and neck fight at the foot of my bed. My money is on the cat!

My thirteen-year-old son is screaming random phrases at his Xbox friends that would sound completely insane to anyone not currently involved in online gaming. All i can say is I would like to speak to whoever invented the Italian brain rot shit!!!!

Vern is somewhere in the house either listening to music as loudly as possible (i mean if her dna cant feel it obviouslyit isnt loud enough), watching anime, playing her game on xbox, or somehow accomplishing all three simultaneously.

Meanwhile, Lillian has established permanent residency in MY bedroom.

“OoO are you laying in your room!?! Im comin up too hold up!” -Lillian Rae

She is usually found showing me TikToks, Instagram reels, memes, online shopping finds, her Shein cart, and approximately seven hundred things she absolutely NEEDS despite already owning enough stuff to open a small department store. Also planning and unplanning her senior year!

And honestly?

As chaotic as it sounds…

It’s kind of perfect.

For weeks it feels like life has been one giant stress ball.

Waiting on mail.

Waiting on answers.

Waiting on money.

Waiting on appointments.

Waiting on something—anything—to get easier.

Today I didn’t accomplish much of anything productive.

I didn’t grocery shop.

I didn’t solve any major life problems.

I didn’t suddenly become organized.

I didn’t discover the secret to financial freedom.

But I laughed.

I wandered around places I enjoy.

I spent time with my kids.

I survived McDonald’s. (Barely)

And tonight I’m laying in bed surrounded by the noise and chaos of the people I love most.

The groceries can wait until tomorrow.

And tomorrow?

Matt gets to come with me.

The lucky little duck.